Thursday, February 16, 2012

When Writing Gets Personal

Nearly every local newspaper in California has created a "Hot for Teacher" headline about a 56-year-old married man who has been ousted from Oakland University after writing a creative essay with sexual undertones, which may or may not be directed at his professor. While he had written essays of the like before, the professor felt that he content was too explicit and was directed at her. Different articles give different ages for the professor, but most agree that she is younger than he is, which provides extra credibility to her case that he "intimidated" her with his writing and that she no longer felt safe having him in her class.

Joe Corlett contends that he has never, nor will ever, have fantasies regarding the professor, though he admits she is an attractive woman. He was simply writing furiously and "fearless"ly, as his wife calls it, and had received good feedback on his previous essays which he says also contained questionable material.

I agree with the teacher in this case. The student-teacher relationship is one that has to have set boundaries, and though at times it can become blurred when extraneous elements come into play (a lot of teachers are also sometimes thrust into the role of counselor and sounding board when familial and friend problems arise), the idea that an essay of questionable nature and intent is written directly to a teacher is disconcerting, especially if it's a male writing to a female.

I am also happy, as many bloggers and commentators have also stated, that this story hasn't been spun somehow, insinuating that the teacher gave an inappropriate prompt, requested the type of writing that was produced, or had led Mr. Corlett on. One commentator in particular had the following to say, which, as clever as it is, rings pretty true, "Finally, a good teacher in a bad situation isn't vilified."

Full local article here:
http://www1.whdh.com/news/articles/national/12006705574722/hot-for-teacher-essay-lands-student-in-hot-water/

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

So...A Guy Walks Into A Bar...

And is holding a gun...

And everyone ignores him.

Then chase him down.

And chat afterward that they were disappointed they had their night interrupted by chasing down the gunslinger.

<3

S---MOKIN'!

Go ahead and attempt an Ace Ventura impression...

OK.

Imagine Grandma Doing This....

And you thought you knew what awesome was...

Not until you've seen professional biker Mikael Dupont attempt (and mostly succeed) in performing some BMX-style tricks using a circa 1940s women's bike.

Added bonus: He welds a support bar onto the frame to keep the bike from bending in half...a second time.

Yo, Dat's Cra-Z, broski.

In what comes as no surprise to any of us educators, a school in England has banned its students from using any slang whatsoever while on school grounds, including on all assignments; their reasoning being that students in the mostly working class town will be better equipped and prepared for employment if they distance themselves from the type of language that is often associated with a lack of education and lackadaisical attitudes. So far, they aren't sure what the backlash and reception will be like, but I know if it were to occur in this area it would be met with high expectations but with little tangible result or change.

I would love to enforce this rule in my own school; I can definitely see the benefits to it, and I'm already seeing a lot of it manifest in negative ways in my students' papers. There's a serious problem when critiques of "ppl" instead of "people" and "wat" instead of "what" are met with a lot of resistance because it seems "just fine" and "you knew what I meant."

Read the full story here:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/9081943/Pupils-banned-from-using-slang-in-school.html

Ripped from the Daily What: http://tumblr.thedailywh.at/post/17682501200/too-cool-for-school-of-the-day-springs-academy-in

Whitney Houston

Yesterday, on his audioblog, Charles, a local DJ on 94.1 WHJY, expressed concern over the mass hysteria surrounding the death of Whitney Houston. While I at first vehemently disagreed with his statements and his opinions, during the course of his argument he became extremely convincing.

His thesis: People never cared about Whitney Houston until she died.

Seems harsh, right? Well, his reasoning is somewhat sound. Whitney Houston was one of the golden divas of the late 1980s and early 1990s; people bought her records en masse and celebrated her amazing performances and strong resonant voice, insinuating she would rise to the acclaim of all the great divas before her--Diana Ross, Aretha Franklin--and would achieve long-lived fandom when most others fizzled out rather quickly. Her career seemed pristine and enviable, until her life began spiraling out of control because of her marriage to Bobby Brown and the controversy that surrounded the two of them and their cavalier drug use and abuse. Then came the realizations that there was physical abuse in their relationship; there were questions as to whether their daughter would be taken away, and whether her career could be resurrected.

She was vilified in the media, pilloried for scorn and negative example.

She then seemed to fade away into static and oblivion.

Then came a reality show which she begrudgingly agreed to be on, which was followed by even more scrutiny and negativity. Her life spiraled further into tabloid fodder, her marriage fell apart and her appearances on television or other programming were heralded with anything but positivity.

Insert a few years of obscurity and mediocrity and you arrive at the present, wherein she is being celebrated as one of the greatest voices of her generation, as a true diva, and as the definition of beauty, talent and role model.

As Charles pointed out, something doesn't add up here; people are more concerned about her postmortem than they were even 10 years ago. Her divorce wouldn't have made front page news, a comeback tour would have been shuddered quickly, and anything other than the aforementioned would have been ignored almost entirely.

Are we, as a culture, so quick to grasp onto only the good in a person, or are we too quick to judge and condemn someone for even the smallest of failings. Are we too critical, analytical and quick to judge? Or are we genuinely concerned and saddened by her passing.

As Charles put it, "I can't be saddened by the death of someone I never met and know little about." While I agree, I don't entirely. I do feel some empathy, especially for her family and friends, and perhaps for the music community, knowing they lost someone so impacting.

I think the true test will lie in whether she is as greatly remembered in two months or even a year from now as she is today.

Time Travel, Kind of...

As if I hadn't published enough oddities lately, here's another piece of history to tickle your "no way" nerves:

Highlight: The fact that a 81-year-old civil war veteran married a 21-year-old girl right before his death.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2012/02/07/146534518/rasputin-was-my-neighbor-and-other-true-tales-of-time-travel

Check This Out

The link below is to 11 daredevil accomplishments that seem improbable or even impossible. Some of these were even new to me...

http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/116985

A timelapse video of the Milky Way Galaxy, as seen from central South Dakota

It's Snowing Like...

Nothing.

What the hell?!

Last winter the northeast saw the 9th largest snowfall amount on record; it seemed every day we were shovelin' (insert repetitive syncopated pop beat here). This year we're in a snow drought. At my home, we've shoveled twice and I pulled out the snowblower once, just to say I used it this year, though a paltry 4" of fluffy snow is hardly what I would consider the backbreaking labor of bygone winters. AND it was 50 degrees the next two days following the snowfall. Talk about anticlimactic.

Is this a byproduct of global warming, or of some cyclical trend in nature that we naive humans have yet to understand? Does that mean this summer is going to be a scorcher? Or that it will be even milder? Maybe we'll get deluged with a straight week or rain...

I'm not praying for anything one way or another, I just miss the seasons when one knew what to expect: hot, dry summer days, winters full of snow and cold, an autumn and a spring in which temperatures were actually around 55 degrees every day (and not either 38 or 75).

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Hacksaw Jim Duggan and my wrestling debut

You can call me The War-lord.

Waiting for effect with dramatic pause (read: line break). Nothing? Bueller?

Oh well.

This past Friday I got the opportunity to participate in a live action wrestling event when Big Time Wrestling came to my high school. As part of their stage show, their performers tried to hype our smallish audience with the type of banter that incites frustration from the younger kids who still want the "good guys" to win, and palpitations and mini-strokes from the faculty who must deal with the fallout from the curses and racial epithets blurted out by the cavalier superstars. The company ransacked their repertoire in search of the most creative matches they could muster for the tiny town of Northbridge. We received two tag team matches and a dog collar match. :/

I, however, was undeterred by the lack of creativity as it pertained to the matches, but was engrossed with Hacksaw Jim Duggan, a superstar from my childhood who stood larger than life in the ring, inciting cheers and the kind of mild hysteria you can only get from a wrestler 20 years past their prime.

I also got to participate in one of the matches: the dog collar match. The heel, Mister TA, and his manager, John Cena, Sr., came down to the ring and began to unfairly attack and gain advantage over The Hillbilly, Cousin Larry. At this point, becoming clearly frustrated, Larry declares he needed assistance from the likes of Jeff, a local "hero" whom he had met earlier that day at the local restaurant, Brian's.

While I wait for my royalties from Brian's for the free advertising I'll relay the remainder of the story.

I came down to the ring, pretended to become involved as much as possible, and ended up orchestrated (ahead of time of course) a win for the Hillbilly and clear vindication for the crowd who had just moments earlier seemed so upset about his impending loss.

Truth be told, the audience was actually more excited to see me by the stage than to see the match, and although I didn't do anything particularly special or warranting of applause, instill receive requests for autographs from several children. Ok, I said to them, I'll sign this for you, but I'd you stay in school you can have plenty of autographs from me all over your papers.

It was an awesome experience, and somewhat of a dream come true, although muted and on a much smaller scale obviously. I would do it again in a heartbeat, though, and it was great to meet one of my childhood heroes. The classes made a lot of money and overall I think everyone had a great time, even if some of them were upset by the fact that there weren't more big names in attendance.

As for my stardom, I think I'll stick to teaching and writing; I don't know d the world is ready for the War-Lors just yet.


But you never know.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Best Cities in the World to Live?

CNBC put up another round of their "Best Places to Live" in the world, with a little help from several consulting firms and other magazines.

http://www.cnbc.com/id/45471291/

A link to the article is above. And what's not surprising about it? Not a single city from the United States made it to the list, while Canada came in with three cities and Europe (despite being vilified in the news) had almost all the remaining cities. They were awarded such prestige because they actually, in every category, rated higher than any American city in terms of pay, ease, employment, happiness, etc.

Maybe we SHOULD be trying to be a bit more like Europe. What do you think?

Monday, February 6, 2012

A Long Hiatus

After graduating with my MFA (woo!), I've decided it's time to begin getting serious about, what else, writing!

With that being said, I think this blog will become the most sporadic and most personal and reflective of a collection of blogs-to-come. So I suppose the whole four month lull may become a norm.

One of the treats of graduation weekend is that a distinguished panel of writers, editors and publishers moseys onto campus to answer our pressing questions regarding post-MFA opportunities and, inevitably, what can we do to make money since we're so far into debt now?

The answer was resoundingly: blogging. (With some online copy, social media commentary, etc. mixed in) The stipulation, however, was that only 1% of the people in the room (meaning 1.21 people) would be able to successfully manufacture a living solely off of blogging, while an equally small percentage would find it possible to supplement their incomes with blogging and the infrequent freelance job. The bottom line: be excellent or find a real job.

I've decided to do both, not because of my head-to-the-wind blind stupidity but because of the open challenge of the idea. Blogging is free, essentially. It only "costs" time, of which I now have a "copious" (if it ever can be) amount of every evening sans my hours of Master's work and my streamlining of previous lessons and foresight into future lessons. So I've decided to break up into at least three separate blogs all of which I hope to monetize in the future and at least link to a growing writing portfolio.

Look for updates.

Friday, October 7, 2011

The 99ers Score

While the idea of the 99ers is somewhat cheesy (a selection of disgruntled citizens [read: hippies] representing 99% of the US population who own 10% of the wealth in this country), they are certainly being heard, albeit in a strange way. Their goal is to be noticed and to enact change, mainly on the front of being ousted from their homes because of too-few opportunities which are erroneously advertised as being available yet underutilized. So have they succeeded in these efforts? Well...they're on local news networks as "peace disturbers" who occasionally become violent; are on MSNBC as proletariats; and are on Fox News as "domestic terrorists." So how do YOU view them? (Half-rhetorical question...)

My wife works for one of the larger banks and takes the train into the city, and she passes by some of these people camped out and her word for them is: hippies. "They're not," she says, "at all like you and I; we would go out and do something if our lives were in this position." And while I'm sure she's right, I wonder if we ever could be in that same position and what we would do if we found ourselves in that position? Would I be able to finagle a way to keep a house if I was buried underwater, in a mortgage I couldn't ever possibly pay off, facing bleak job prospects, and feeling stymied by the same banks which encouraged me to take out said loan on a house I KNEW I couldn't afford? Well, I don't know...but I am pretty sure that I would try to find a first or a second job instead of camping out to protest employees who had nothing to do with the decisions that were made years ago (my wife didn't even work there until the housing market had already crashed). I also know that there are more effective methods for having your voice heard.

You can walk up to an executive and demand that they let you keep your home, but ultimately they don't control that. They don't have a magic phone number they can call which will go directly to the desk of the man whose finger is poised directly over the alluring red button which will oust you from your house. Your mortgage and your issues are tied up in a technological world, bound to generated computer sequences, algorithms determining your interest, payments and likelihood of foreclosure, and are controlled by staffers who look at these computer models and, based on sheer numbers, determine whether they should foreclose on you.

It's hard to blame a single person beyond yourself. So should these people look in the mirror to find where they should aim their blame? No. Well, maybe. Yes?

If you took out an excessive mortgage on a house you didn't need and couldn't afford and just assumed that everything would keep increasing exponentially until the end of time, then you are to blame. If you and your spouse had jobs making comfortable money and you purchased a home you could afford or was a little out of your price range and you both lost your jobs and you have been actively trying to find a new job or have a new job and are earning money that pales in comparison to what you once had, then I think you should have no blame. This, I think, is where the line should be drawn.

Perhaps to end the protests and employ some people, these large banks and lenders should hire, train and implement these mortgage reviewers to determine on a case-by-case basis (much like how most people used to get bank loans before our internet age) whether someone deserves a mortgage refinance even if they are underwater or deserves a break on their penalties. I know several families who have fallen on hard times as a result of this recession/depression, but I also know a few who have taken advantage of superfluous unemployment benefits ("finding" a job only as the final benefit check rolled in). I know people who bought a house they couldn't afford and are somehow still in it, and others who have been kicked out. And I know some who are stuck somewhere in the middle: a semi-affordable home, a new or lower-paying job, or different circumstances (children, new office location, etc.).

To these 99ers I say I hear and understand you, but I say end the protests. Want to be noticed and enact change? Want to be effective? You're becoming more spectacle than effective. Occupy Wall Street all you want, but if you want to be noticed, occupy your homes. Refuse to leave when the foreclosers arrive, and have a movement at that house. If the government will arrest one, they'll have to arrest all. And THAT will make an impact. 1,000 arrested to protect a home is much different than 1,000 standing in the streets with posters saying "let us keep our houses." One person who presents proof they have looked for a job, can afford their home again and won't saddle the taxpayers with misfortune but genuinely wants to try to afford something they almost could before deserves the opportunity. We are America; a land of opportunity, not a land of those who take advantage of opportunity and then expect to be given breaks. Like a big bank for instance. Oh, wait.

Alaska's New Airport

Alaska's newest airport, situated on a deserted island off the coast of the largest seafood manufacturing plant in the US, costs taxpayers $77 million. Again, $77 million, which is roughly the amount that the state of North Dakota is trying to cut out of their budget for the upcoming year.

The airport takes at least 1/2 hour to reach, and that's from the main island of 1,000 residents off its coast. From the mainland of Alaska, it would take a person at least a full day and at least two modes of transportation to reach the airport. Feel somehow cheated or that something isn't right? Well, what if I told you that the airport will mostly be used by Trident seafood company employees? But that's something you need to keep hush-hush about, especially since the mayor doesn't want to talk about it...

Watch for yourself...

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2011/10/07/tuchman-alaska-airport.cnn