Monday, May 11, 2009

A continuation...

...of the previous blog posting.

So while I consider myself inadequate, I wonder what the qualifications, certifications and abilities of the other candidates are. Am I attractive and capable on paper? In person? Or solely through demonstration? I would hope that I am all three, but I suppose most districts would go for the last option; though I am inclined to believe they would skip over this expectation with other candidates. Is this a naive and false belief? Or is this some sort of state-to-state bias or preference? Is it a doubt because I have a lot of success and experience as a writer and a journalist/editor? And is that intimidating or demeaning to my successes as an educator? Do I come off as someone who is looking to switch careers and happens to have some education experience?

Perhaps that's the greatest downfall about my experiences. When I took the job for my former company, I knew it would only be a temporary position. They seemed keen on getting someone quickly, who could do the job, and who could 'fill a seat' until they found someone better. While that makes them seem pretty awful, it was a pleasant place to work during the interim. I find it funny that my contract ended exactly one year after my hiring date, my position was moved to the West Coast, and a search was already underway before I was given any warning or notice of my impending involuntary departure.

Yes, fishy I suppose would be a better word. But none of this translates onto paper, does it? So I suppose I do look like "an editor trying to be a teacher" on paper, or at best, someone who could be a teacher, but has been out of the classroom for the past two years. I suppose each of these are red flags. Glaring red flags. And perhaps that's why a lot of places may believe I'm something I'm not. A lesson learned: there is a self in paper, in person, and through experience. And a lot of people still do judge a book by it's cover, or by only reading the opening paragraphs.

And in truth the metaphor still does work. My summary is extensive and expansive, though there is a breadth of areas and expertises in there, so perhaps that's a disadvantage. And in person, there is only so much I can demonstrate, especially when trying to answer cookie-cutter questions or when trying to differentiate my answers from the answers of the other 50 people (or more!) vying for the same position, while simultaneously trying to answer the questions the way the interviewer wants them to be answered, to keep them truthful to myself, and to show hints of my promise as an educator (what comes in the following chapters.)

Is my first year or my first success my climax? Or am I a book still being written? Is my climax my entire time teaching? Optimistic yet confused. That's how I would categorize that.

Nevertheless, I am optimistic and prepared for a future as a high school English teacher and I cannot wait to begin. A taste of the office life is nice (as a slice), but anything more, in the words of Hulk Hogan's Old Spice commercial, would be uncivilized.

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